Discussion: Lee and Janet Batchler Original Draft (Keaton and Williams)

[Gotham Knight]

https://ia800107.us.archive.org/21/items/Batman3ScriptProductionDraftAkivaGoldsman/Batman%203%20script%20Early%20Draft%20The%20Batchlers.pdf

I wanted to place this here because I think it is worthy of note that this early draft of the movie is as close to a 'Burton Batman 3' that you'll ever get. We know now that no such thing exists and that while most of the rumors swirling about this project were/are true, they are now rightly attributed to Joel's administration. This draft is the version shown to Robin Williams (who approved and entered negotiations before he was deemed too expensive) and is written with him in mind. The same goes for Bruce, who is being written still as Michael Keaton.

I've only just begun reading this draft and will post opinions as I go along.

First thing I noticed is that Batman Begins borrows the second scene for its own opening sequence. Crazy, right? More soon.

If anyone wants to join in and talk about it, please do.

[Kamdan]

Keaton has spoken about wanting the third film to explore more of Batman's origin and the writers obliged by drawing from The Dark Knight Returns with the imagery of a young Bruce Wayne falling into a cave full of bats. This was without a doubt in response to the criticisms that the title character was barely in the previous films and lacked a predominate storyline. You gotta keep your main actor happy with material that keeps them wanting to appear in these films.

It's a shame that things didn't work out with Keaton staying onboard. Everyone can't decide whether or not it was the direction Schumacher was taking it or salary disputes. It seemed like Keaton, Schumacher and Burton producing was a good combination for a return to form after the second film in this franchise, but once they lost Keaton, then Burton bowed out to receive only an honorary producing credit giving Schumacher full reign to do what Batman Forever turned into. If those three had continued to work together, we would have had this be the best film of the initial franchise.

[Gotham Knight]

Keaton has spoken about wanting the third film to explore more of Batman's origin and the writers obliged by drawing from The Dark Knight Returns with the imagery of a young Bruce Wayne falling into a cave full of bats. This was without a doubt in response to the criticisms that the title character was barely in the previous films and lacked a predominate storyline. You gotta keep your main actor happy with material that keeps them wanting to appear in these films.

It's a shame that things didn't work out with Keaton staying onboard. Everyone can't decide whether or not it was the direction Schumacher was taking it or salary disputes. It seemed like Keaton, Schumacher and Burton producing was a good combination for a return to form after the second film in this franchise, but once they lost Keaton, then Burton bowed out to receive only an honorary producing credit giving Schumacher full reign to do what Batman Forever turned into. If those three had continued to work together, we would have had this be the best film of the initial franchise.

Thanks for the input. I think I heard that very same thing somewhere recently (it may have from the Batchler's themselves) and I'm thinking that I agree...it might have been the best one. That takes a lot for me to say, being a pretty big Burton fanboy, but my absence from the fandom has allowed me to come back around on Forever and view it as something that even in final form is pretty darn good.

I'm up to the part where Bruce and Meridian first meet. What I've noticed so far is that the story is basically the same (no problem there) but I'm also keenly aware that this was written with Keaton in mind. The interactions between Alfred and Bruce especially are tailored for the chemistry that Keaton and Gough had developed. It feels very light and fun, very Returns. I'm also fond of how Bruce uses the Riddler letters (which he doesn't take seriously) as a pretext to make contact with Chase. It all feels very Keaton, and that somehow makes the the character more present than he was in the final product.

The Goldsman revisions and the edit make the movie leaner and I think that hurt Val. I think leaner suited Keaton better. Less was always more, and with this dialogue tailored to fit his unique comedic skills, I think he would kill it. It is Val who ends up with the lean treatment and his stately and precise version of the caped crusader suffers because that kind of performance needs more explicit material to work with, if for nothing else, to more firmly supplant Val into the role. The deleted scenes help with this a lot, making the case for the Virtual Work Print stronger, but I'm thinking Keaton's comedy bent forced the scribes to write Bruce in a less general way. You had to find a voice.

More soon.

[Kamdan]

While reading through this draft, you'll notice that most if not all of the cringe worthy lines in the movie ("I'll get drive-thru" "Hot entrance" "Chicks love the car") are Goldman's creation. I wonder if Keaton was ever shown that script. He's commented about Forever that "it sucked," but he's probably referring to how it ended up and not the conception. It seemed that Goldman came after Keaton and Burton bowed out and let Schumacher go on his own where he got full license to have a revamped production design and nipples on the batsuit to have more overt sexuality with the casting of Kilmer and Kidman. I doubt no one was picturing Williams' Riddler dancing around in tights, but that changed once they got Carrey.

[Gotham Knight]

While reading through this draft, you'll notice that most if not all of the cringe worthy lines in the movie ("I'll get drive-thru" "Hot entrance" "Chicks love the car") are Goldman's creation. I wonder if Keaton was ever shown that script. He's commented about Forever that "it sucked," but he's probably referring to how it ended up and not the conception. It seemed that Goldman came after Keaton and Burton bowed out and let Schumacher go on his own where he got full license to have a revamped production design and nipples on the batsuit to have more overt sexuality with the casting of Kilmer and Kidman. I doubt no one was picturing Williams' Riddler dancing around in tights, but that changed once they got Carrey.

I'm curious if Keaton saw it as well. I was just thinking about that. I think some of those lines were probably inevitable. I've no doubt that the studio would want to punch it up, it was 95 after all. I've finished this draft and my final verdict is:

I think that the first draft more or less is the right way to go (if Keaton stays) up until the dance. I don't like the idea of Batman accepting Robin so easily after the boy wonder saves him. I like that he fights it and chastises him. Also, when Keaton warns him off killing in a training session, it doesn't chastise him enough for his own hypocrisy. The final product better handles the issue with the "it will happen this way" speech. Robin should be Robin at the end. Pretty much let the movie be the movie we got from the dance ball onward. Goldman has his uses. Make the movie lean and mean (but leave a lot of the first act alone!) and clean up the exposition a bit and you you've got a hit.

Other notes:

Liked Robin being 16. The youth helps the dynamic.

Lines written for Keaton continue to shine all the way through and I'm kind of only just now able to articulate why Keaton was the right man for the job in the first place. You had to write for his Bruce. It isn't just that you have to find his voice...its that he had one to begin with. That quirky inventive comedian is what serious Batman needed.

Let the meeting between Harvey and Edward be like the final product. Eddie can be at home watching the TV. I thought his para social angle was stronger than the leprechaun. Let him find the outfit like Carrey did.

[Kamdan]

Good to know Goldman wrote the "revenge has become your whole life" scene. That's the scene I'd love to see a DeepFake with Keaton's face over Kilmer's. His strong suit is drama, as displayed in Batman & Robin, but his comedy is extremely cringeworthy. I believe the production draft still specified to use footage from the previous films, so maybe he was rewriting with the thought of Keaton returning but they decided to avoid such references once they filmed, aside from Chase's "skin tight vinyl and a whip."

Robin definitely needed to be younger than what was portrayed in the film. It seems like he's supposed to be like Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars who's supposed to be 19, but he appears what O'Donnell was at the time... 25. They did their best to make O'Donnell shorter than Kilmer. Although it is a unique concept to Forever that the Batman and Robin relationship is like brothers instead of the typical father and son relationship. It made it more bearable if you wanted to play Batman and Robin as a child, although honestly they should have just gone with the Nightwing costume and persona with this choice of casting.

I enjoyed this early draft's Claw Island ending with Batman being confronted by computer generated images of his parents' death, Joker, Penguin and Catwoman. Much more interesting than whatever it was that he did in the pit to make the descending spiked grating flip over.

[Gotham Knight]

Good to know Goldman wrote the "revenge has become your whole life" scene. That's the scene I'd love to see a DeepFake with Keaton's face over Kilmer's. His strong suit is drama, as displayed in Batman & Robin, but his comedy is extremely cringeworthy. I believe the production draft still specified to use footage from the previous films, so maybe he was rewriting with the thought of Keaton returning but they decided to avoid such references once they filmed, aside from Chase's "skin tight vinyl and a whip."

Robin definitely needed to be younger than what was portrayed in the film. It seems like he's supposed to be like Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars who's supposed to be 19, but he appears what O'Donnell was at the time... 25. They did their best to make O'Donnell shorter than Kilmer. Although it is a unique concept to Forever that the Batman and Robin relationship is like brothers instead of the typical father and son relationship. It made it more bearable if you wanted to play Batman and Robin as a child, although honestly they should have just gone with the Nightwing costume and persona with this choice of casting.

I enjoyed this early draft's Claw Island ending with Batman being confronted by computer generated images of his parents' death, Joker, Penguin and Catwoman. Much more interesting than whatever it was that he did in the pit to make the descending spiked grating flip over.

I've never written a script in my life, but would anyone think me wicked if I did a "Gotham Knight" draft that combines this draft with the final one?

[Kamdan]

I've never written a script in my life, but would anyone think me wicked if I did a "Gotham Knight" draft that combines this draft with the final one?

Yes, please! I've often thought about doing that with the films myself. Wish it could go further and include material from the novelization as well.

[Gotham Knight]

I've never written a script in my life, but would anyone think me wicked if I did a "Gotham Knight" draft that combines this draft with the final one?

Yes, please! I've often thought about doing that with the films myself. Wish it could go further and include material from the novelization as well.

I'll consider it. Of course, I have to be careful not to add in my own stuff, haha. I remember I had an idea from a piece of aborted fan fiction where Harvey is actually burned on a talk show appearance where a mob attorney who i being interviewed panel style throws the acid into his face. The show's name. When News Knox hosted by guess who? I coined that title a long time ago. It is terrible, but we'll see.

I'll definitely consider getting myself a proper script program and doing one. I'd likely clean up some dialogue, but in the end very first half Batchlers, second half Goldman. We'll see where it goes from there. We'll see.

[The Dark Knight]

I've never written a script in my life, but would anyone think me wicked if I did a "Gotham Knight" draft that combines this draft with the final one?

Yes, please! I've often thought about doing that with the films myself. Wish it could go further and include material from the novelization as well.

I'll consider it. Of course, I have to be careful not to add in my own stuff, haha. I remember I had an idea from a piece of aborted fan fiction where Harvey is actually burned on a talk show appearance where a mob attorney who i being interviewed panel style throws the acid into his face. The show's name. When News Knox hosted by guess who? I coined that title a long time ago. It is terrible, but we'll see.

I'll definitely consider getting myself a proper script program and doing one. I'd likely clean up some dialogue, but in the end very first half Batchlers, second half Goldman. We'll see where it goes from there. We'll see.

Great idea. I enjoy reading your stuff, so I'd be very interested in seeing what you came up with.